Christmas is getting closer and closer and I saw my first Christmas film and boy was I not ready for it. Starring Lindsay Lohan and Ian Harding, Our Little Secret is about two exes who meet each other after a decade apart. They are now in new relationships and when they meet they find out that their partners are from the same family. So Avery (Lindsay Lohan) and Logan (Ian Harding) come up with the genius idea of not telling the family, to avoid an awkward situation. Thus begins the premise of Our Little Secret.
I’ve never been one for Hallmark Christmas films, especially when they feel churned out on a conveyor belt. Our Little Secret is one of those films. It is built on a foundation of cliches and tropes. The overbearing mother figure (played by Kristin Chenoweth), the pointless plotline that a conversation could easily fix the whole situation and unnecessary moments that involve the exact same plot with two separate characters.
On the topic of characters, no one is particularly interesting. They’re all archetypes, the straight-laced female lead trying to win over the mother-in-law, the charming male lead who is trying to get that break in his career, the ditzy blonde, the stoner youth and the skeezy partner for the female lead.
Our Little Secret – I’m sorry I’ve ruined the holidays
It’s not just the writing; the dialogue is amateurish. At times, it feels more like an 80s sitcom than anything resembling right now. There is one particular scene involving TLC gummies, Avery and a church choir, which was absolutely horrendous. It highlights how poor Lohan’s performance in this film is. She’s coasting, not giving anything resembling character or charm. Now her co-star Ian Harding is a slightly different story. His plotline is interesting, he’s got charm, and gives the film a snifter of comedy.
This brings me to one of the worst parts of the film, the absolute waste of comedic talent. Chris Parnell and Tim Meadows are in this film and they are given absolutely nothing to do. How do you waste these two geniuses, Chris Parnell in particular!?
Director Stephen Herek doesn’t seem to have a grasp of the technical ins and outs. There are ADR issues at several points in the film. On top of that strange transition choices plague the film also, which just looks sloppy. In the film’s defence, I will say there are moments that did make me laugh, mainly due to their absurdity.
Ultimately, Our Little Secret is a forgettable film with hints of insanity buried within it. If you’re looking for a Hallmark film with a Netflix twist, this might be up your alley. I would say though, there are other films out there.
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